Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
