I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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