wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
