...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
