that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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