we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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