Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
