I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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