I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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