Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
