I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is Oprah even human
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
