# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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