The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
