there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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