Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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