she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
