I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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