i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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