I'm lost and stupid without you.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
