Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
