Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
