they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
