Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
