dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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