I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
