i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I look better un-naked...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
