I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
