My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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