I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
