The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
