I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
