Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
