this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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