There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
