She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
