NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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