im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
