i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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