my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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