Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think i have two assholes
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
