just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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