yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
