i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
