If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
