i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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