And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
