I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fuck appropriateness.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
