all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
