Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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