he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
